Why Marriages Fail

By Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches

Since half of all marriages end in divorce, it may seem that the idea of marriage and getting married is certainly not something you want to do. This does not have to be the case.

Through working with many married people in our relationship coaching practice, we have identified several barriers to creating and having a great marriage.  We suggest that you identify the ones that pertain to your marriage and then get the information and help that you need to keep your marriage healthy and successful.

With that being said, here are several reasons why marriages fail:

There are many relationship challenges that keep couples from creating happiness in their lives.  These challenges to love can come from the past and many people don't have any idea how to make their relationships better.

There comes at the point when the soulmate connection seems to die in a relationship and this is when marriages get into trouble. During the honeymoon period of the marriage, the relationship seems magical but it's inevitable that after awhile one or both people can begin to feel irritations and differences coming between them. We've discovered that even if you feel that you are soulmates when you come together, you have to pay attention to your relationship and feed it daily.  You have to focus your attention on creating the marriage that you want.

Some couples have a problem with relationship trust.  They may have been in past relationships where they have been hurt and it's difficult for them to open their hearts one more time. The marriage that lacks trust is one where one or both people feel like they are walking on eggshells and never fully allow themselves to commit to the relationship.  When there is no trust between the partners, separation is created at every step of the way and it's difficult for the two people to feel any type of connection.

Other couples have jealousy issues and one or both partners need to overcome jealousy. They may have been in a series of past relationships where their partner cheated on them.  They may have low self-esteem issues.  Whatever the reason, jealousy eventually tends to destroy a marriage.

A big challenge for many marriages is infidelity.  When one or both people in the marriage are having affairs and they are not dealing with the problems, the relationship is most surely headed for divorce. In many cases, infidelity and affairs would never happen if people understood the importance of healing a broken heart that still exists from previous marriages or relationships that didn't work out. Because of these issues, many couples are facing break ups and divorce which are commonplace today.

Another barrier to a great marriage is a lack of romance in their relationship.  Couples say they lack the time to be romantic and they lack romantic ideas.  They say that their marriages are dull, boring and there is no life in them.  Romance can spice up a marriage but there has to be an effort to get at the core issues that are pulling the two people apart in order for it to have any long-term effect.

Another reason marriages fail is a lack of intimacy and love making that satisfies both partners. In some cases, there is flirting with other people because one or both partners want more attention and want to feel loved. Their love making would improve if they start focusing on their relationship instead of looking outward for the attention and love that they aren't getting.  Fantastic love making starts with a heart connection and this is where we suggest people begin to focus their attention.

These challenges eliminated with attention to individual personal growth and personal development.  This personal growth can come in the form of free love advice which can be found in thousands of resources. What we recommend is that you start locating these free relationship advice resources that deal with your specific problems and start getting some answers that will help you create the marriages that you have always wanted.  When you actively start looking for answers, we've discovered that they will come your way.  The important thing is to start!